I’ve realized that as my age increases, time seems like a compass for me to gauge whether something or someone is worth trying.
For example, someone online invited me to play WWII 10 minutes ago. I googled it and tried it for a minute - gave up. The only question I asked was "how much time does it take?" Aha... That’s the moment I realized how important time means to me, and it prompted me to take a look 👀 at my ‘yearly goals’ (goals that I would never be able to achieve) and reflect on how I’ve spent the past 8 months.
Feeling guilty but not guilty... yet continuing to type here....
Maybe time can’t be earned back, money can always come back to me. The only difference is that I gain experiences and meet different types of people (to increase my extrovert percentage - an excuse for not being able to focus to pursue a goal).
Or,
May be I have limited energy for the external world...
Or...
In the top of my head, creating or achieving something that might benefit the world before I die is what I am aiming for. Influencing people to get better and grow together... blah blah blah.
The problem is that every time I shift my focus onto something else that I can get instant satisfaction or result from. However, I feel guilty and emotionally burned afterward. RIP for the time I have "wasted".
But why not?
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